She has arrived!

Katherine is nearly two weeks old now. She arrived safely and in good health on November 2, 2012 at 7:15 pm after 30 hours of labour.

We had a lovely experience at the Lister MLU and CLU in Stevenage. I started out with a water birth but ended up in the Consultant Led Unit after my contractions failed to progress. She had the cord around her neck and it was a bit scary for a moment or two, but she surprised even the doctors and got on just fine after a few minutes!

And this concludes our DIY journey! Mission Accomplished!!!

c'mon baby!

I'm due on friday and so far the baby is high and free instead of low and engaged. While that can change at any time, it's starting to make me think we're going to have a bonfire baby instead of a halloween baby. I'm okay with that- just struggling to accept a scorpio instead of a libra ;)  I'm still feeling alright, most of the time, though I'm having a issue with my iron and it's making me breathless and causing palpitations and such which just aren't fun or comforting.

On Oct 6th I went to an antenatal class at the birthing centre and saw my midwife. I had the weirdest cravings for ice that had suddenly developed over the last two months- which I just thought was a pregnancy thing- then I started craving soap. awkward. I told the midwife about these things and she didn't seem concerned, she said that pregnancy makes us crave weird things. Since they are really the only cravings I've had I didn't second guess her. I also told her that I hadn't been feeling well lately- heart palpitations, breathlessness, etc- she said my blood pressure was fine and that this was also normal with the increased blood pumping through my body etc. Lucky for me, my lovely wife is a bit more persistent on these things and kept asking about my blood results from august- which I couldn't seem to find in my notes- and neither could the midwife. So she went to her trusty computer and printed them out. Then she told me that my iron was VERY LOW. so low that I wouldn't be able to have the baby there. My blood was last taken in August, so there was no telling how it had changed, for better or worse, since then. She took more blood and sent me home with iron pills in the meantime. I got my blood results the next day and it was even lower than it had been in august which wasn't the news I was hoping for. At the time I still had 3+ weeks to get my iron up and stay at the birth centre- but now I've just got to cross my fingers and hope for the best. I could go into labour at any time and I won't know my latest blood results until 4pm today, so I'm hopeful that the pills have been working. I really wish they hadn't mucked this up and that I had been told early on- like august, for example- because then I wouldn't have to worry. But, as they say, the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry...

We're making lemonade out of the situation and toured the Lister MLU last week. I've tentatively booked there in case my iron isn't up where it needs to be for edgware. I'm a little bothered by the fact that Edgware missed something so crucial to me being able to give birth there. The weird thing is that since October 6th, I've had 3 different phone calls to tell me my iron is low. They obviously have procedures in place to notify (or over-notify) patients of their bloodwork, so why they missed it in the beginning is beyond me, but there's nothing I can do about it now except hope for the best.

I'm learning a lot as a result of this iron issue and it's worth sharing. I think I can sum it up by saying midwives and doctors don't always give the best info and the best thing you can do is inform yourself.

• First: I should say that I haven't been entirely open with my medical history since being in the UK. In the USA our medical system and insurance system is so messed up that it's best to keep some things to yourself. For example, I have crohns disease and I've never disclosed this to any medical professional in the UK. Perhaps I should have, but at this point I still feel good about my decision to keep that to myself. I was worried that they would intervene in ways I wasn't comfortable with, or treat me differently for trying to conceive- I now know that those things wouldn't have happened, but still best to not let it out here so that it doesn't ever get back to the USA. In the USA I worked tirelessly to have all evidence of this removed from my records to the best that I could- and I'll say that after 20 years I was fairly successful. My main reason is that being treated with medication was making me more sick, and the whole ridiculousness of getting insurance as an adult (having been diagnosed in childhood) I couldn't get my insurance to pay for simple things like a common cold or flu because my crohns (a pre-existing condition) made it an expectation- and I was told that I would be unable to EVER carry a child to term as a result of the severity of my crohns. Through my own research and self medication I was able to put my Crohn's into remission and so far, VERY successfully carry a child to term. I've dealt with anemia a lot as a result of crohn's, however, this seems to be normal pregnancy related anemia.
• Second: when I was given the news that my iron was low, the midwife gave me a sheet about foods for PREGNANT women to eat to increase their iron. The list included liver. I figured that a heme iron was the best way to increase my iron so I went to the store and bought liver on my way home from the clinic that night. I had a plan in mind that I would take my pills daily and also eat one serving of liver every day for the week. I began my plan and did this for five days. On the fifth day I got a phone call from the midwife to tell me I had low iron. I told them I knew and that I was taking the iron pills and eating liver and would be back in another week for more bloodwork. The woman on the phone was furious that I was eating liver and had a go at me for being so careless during my pregnancy and told me the baby could have birth defects because of my actions. I told her it was on the sheet they had given me. She told me to throw away the sheet- and any leftover liver. This left me paranoid, needlessly. While liver isn't ideal to consume during pregnancy due to the large amount of vitamin A in it- the most critical time to abstain is the first three months in terms of birth defects and brain damage. Even though I was full term when I consumed it, it still isnt' a good idea to eat as much of it as I was eating, but at least I wasn't needlessly paranoid after a bit of internet research. Also, the midwife told me to take my iron pills with orange juice. I said that I didn't like OJ, but that I eat grapefruit every morning- she insisted that I switch to OJ because she wasn't sure if grapefruit would inhibit absorption. I asked a different midwife at the same place for a second opinion and she explained that the reason they recommend OJ is for vitamin C, and anything with vitamin C- like grapefruit or kiwi is perfectly acceptable. So much conflicting information!
• Third: I went in on sunday for my next set of bloodwork. We discussed the liver mixup, and I gave them back the sheet they gave to me and told them they should probably update it. The midwife told me I should eat something more enjoyable, like kiwi fruit, which she claimed had 50% of my daily recommended iron as well as the added benefit of vitamin c. This seemed a bit absurd to me since I'm pretty knowledgable about the fruits and veg that contain high amounts of iron (Kale, blueberries, olives, etc- and the latter two are only in the 15-20% category of daily intake- but they are the highest) I googled it, and as I expected Kiwi contains a minimal amount of iron- though it is good to take to help the iron be absorbed by your body due to the vit. c content. 
• Fourth: If you crave weird things, like soap, ice, mud, clay, etc- and you're getting breathless for what seems like no reason- don't let the midwives brush it off- at a minimum verify your most recent bloods, or demand more recent bloodwork. iron can change quickly and it can be really hard to bring it back up- especially it if gets dangerously low. Not to mention the risks to your life, and the baby's during childbirth, from low iron. 

I guess what I'm ultimately getting at is that the doctors and midwives tend to repeat information without saying WHY, or without understanding WHY they make the recommendations they make. It's best to ask them WHY and if they don't know make them get back to you on it. after all, they are supposed to be looking out for your best interest. 
Also, when it comes to iron issues and anemia, there is a risk of being too informed about it. For example I read on many websites that I should take the pills with any form of milk or dairy because it inhibits absorption, but then I read the box my pills come in and they are coated in lactose- which seems contradictory. Also, even if you follow everything exactly as you should, everyone's body absorbs iron differently and there is no way to guarantee your hemoglobin will increase to the extent it is supposed to- so you just have to try your best and not stress about it.

I'm going to try that right now!

4 weeks to go!

Everything is progressing normally so far! yay!

I've gained 14 lbs or 1 stone thus far and the baby is measuring perfectly. She's currently breech, but that changes from day to day. My hope is that soon she gets head down and stays that way. I'm all scheduled at the Edgware Birthing Centre and I cant wait to go into labour. I'm ready to have this baby. While I have enjoyed the pregnancy, I'm ready for the next chapter...

In other pregnancy news, my breasts are leaking milk at random times, which is exciting- not- but I did find some fab washable breast pads which are working fantastically! I'm still stretch mark free which is SUPER EXCITING, i'm hoping it's my lotion and potion ritual. The baby is incredibly active. ALL DAY LONG. They generally say that at this point in the pregnancy you will feel the baby moving less and less because there is less room- well I'm here to tell you that hasn't been true for me, or many others that I've talked to. I still don't have any indigestion or heartburn, but I do get incredibly uncomfortable the longer I sit still. For me, the trick to solving this issue is to move around, go for a walk, etc.... unless it's late at night in which case I just try to go to sleep. I'm sleeping well and waking early but rested. I started my maternity leave on friday and have managed to paint 3 canvasses for the baby's room, two for the dining room and one for our bedroom, in addition to painting the fireplace mantel to give it a new lease on life.... I've also made 2 gallons of body wash for the baby, a gallon of body wash for us, a gallon of hand soap, and two gallons of laundry detergent. it's all free from toxins and dangerous chemicals and I love the way it rinses clean, leaves my skin soft and is free from perfumey-ness. I've also grown quite addicted to pinterest, hence all the projects of the last few days. So, this is nesting..... ??

27 weeks tomorrow!

In the last three weeks we finally moved house. We haven't had internet or phone since the 3rd of july, but we are officially back on the grid in the technological age! Hallelujah!

Earlier this week I had a terrible toothache. I had previously gone to the dentist about this tooth but since I was 4 months pregnant at the time she didn't want to do an xray. Yesterday however when I finally managed to get an emergency appointment they did an xray and told me the tooth has a raging infection and can't be saved. So, sadly, a few hours ago I had the tooth extracted. WITHOUT any anesthetic. and it HURT. I'm now practicing my pain management and encouraging my partner to do some practice hypnobirthing on me later today. A little practice at channeling this pain can't be a bad thing right?

I had a midwife appointment on Monday since I'm preparing to fly to the USA on the 23rd and will be gone for an entire month. So far I've gained 7 lbs and the baby is measuring perfectly and has a healthy heartbeat- so I'm officially fit for travel! Fantastic!! I've got my super attractive compression socks and all my comfortable travel clothes all laid out for the big day. I can't wait to arrive at the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival- that's the event I look forward to all year and now that it's finally drawing closer, I'm even more excited that it will be a part of my pregnancy. Last year I told my fellow workers that there was a good chance I'd be up to 6 months pregnant this year, not knowing if I'd have the beginners luck that I ultimately had, but sure enough the universe saw to it and here I am embarking on yet another festival and this time with child!! Next year will be even more amazing as she'll be nearly 9 months old and experiencing it for herself!

the big wide world of cloth nappies!

I finally found a great pack, priced reasonably... It's 10 little lamb bamboo cloth nappys with covers, fleece liners and other bits. Normally it's £115 but for some reason it's being offered at this  discounted price of £50
I don't know why it's discounted, but I don't mind! We're going to start elimination communication after the first few weeks (depending on how I'm feeling) and we're also going to have disposables just in case I absolutely hate cloth in the first few weeks- so the minimal investment seems worthwhile at the moment. It will allow us to try out cloth, see how we feel about it and then either buy more, or sell them. Another part that makes the price so amazing is that our council offers a real nappy incentive scheme and will reimburse you up to £25 when you spend £50 on reusable nappies!! Cha-ching!!

breastfeeding....

and now a new search is on for a breast pump!  I want my partner to be able to feed our baby, so I need to be able to express milk for that to happen. I know it might take time, but I also know that it is a must... 

and the perfect one would be????

SO MANY to look at! I've at least narrowed it down to electric- and probably just easier to do dual, instead of one at a time... 

free things for baby

I found some great links for free baby gear yesterday. At www.sevenslings.com with code WTE, I was able to order a baby sling and pay only shipping! I also ordered a car seat canopy from carseatcanopy.com which I also only paid shipping on. I live in the UK, but go to the USA every summer, so I had it sent to my US address which is rather handy since they don't ship to the UK.

I've been on a mission to find free reusable nappies, so far it's been an epic fail. But I'm going to keep looking! I just need a few so I can try them out, see what I like and such. Fingers crossed!!

Maternity Pillow

I am SO loving my dreamgenii pillow!  Not only has it made sleeping through the nights a reality, but I'm also finding it exceptionally comfortable for sitting on the couch. Also, at night I used to get up several times to wee and now I don't get up at all. I'm not sure how or why that would be linked, but I'm loving it. Today I'm feeling quite sick- stuffy nose, sore throat, chesty cough- so I'm sitting up in bed and have my pillow wrapped nice and snug around me and it's oh-so-comfortable!

If you're looking for a maternity pillow I can't recommend this one enough- it's a bit pricey though, and I'm all about the bargain so I bought mine new on amazon for half the price!! Just be advised for scammers, I noticed two for this pillow and I'm glad I didn't buy from them!!

No stretch marks for this belly!!

I don't have anything against stretchmarks per se, but I have some rather large tattoos that are quite meaningful to me and I hate the thought of them being invaded by stretchmarks.  I'm on a mission to prevent them and I began some prep work in the two months prior to conception by creating a lotion ritual that I'm hoping will ward them off.

The essential ingredients:

1) Ceridwen's Cauldron  bath melt from Lush at Lushusa.com (also widely available in the UK!!) 
2) Bath and Body Works body cream in Rice Flower and Shea (or any scent you like, for me this is nice and light for my uber strong pregnancy nose!)
3) Bio-Oil
4) St Ives Collagen and Elastin body lotion
5) with a side of The Body Shop's cocoa shea body butter


So you wanna soak in the tub and relax? Ceridwen's Cauldron is a must!! It's a delicious bath melt that releases just enough oil to soften your skin and leave it moisturized without feeling greasy. Not to mention the sweet smelling earthy scent that is soothes all the aches and pains! I'd say it's a definite once a week treat for your baby making body.

Fresh from your shower or bath, slip on some Bio Oil- it dries quickly without being greasy. Some people disagree with using this oil during pregnancy, I say do your own research and decide. If I decided not to use it, I'd also have to swear off laptops, computers, cell phones, sunlight, unorganic everything and fresh air. I love how it smells, I love how it feels and I've been using it since two months pre conception and definitely notice a difference in my skin as a result- so I'm sticking to it.

Then slather on some St Ives Collagen and Elastin lotion- primarily on your belly, hips and breasts. I can speak to the scientificness of this lotion, but stretchmarks are affected by collagen and elastin so I'm using this because I WANT to believe in its claims. It's a nice and light scent and feels really luxurious when you rub it on. It settles in and dries quickly, another plus for me. There's nothing like having to wait for lotion to dry before dressing and I refuse to do it, so I choose my lotions and potions accordingly.

The final layer is the BBW Rice flower and Shea body cream. It's richer than the lotion and keeps my skin moisturized all day. It has a really lovely light scent. I alternated this with BBW's warm vanilla sugar body butter in the early months because I was worried my morning sickness and newly tuned sensitive olfactory sense would make me hate my favorite familiar smells- I'm happy to report, crisis averted!

Should you start to feel itchy skin later in the day, nip into the loo, and apply a quick dose of The Body Shop cocoa shea body butter in the convenient on the go tub. This has been a lifesaver at work when my belly starts itching and I don't want to look like the weirdo in the corner who's trying to sneak in some scratching. It's also in a small tub and fits in my bag so I can take it everywhere.

I can't swear by this little concoction just yet- I'm only 22 weeks along- But I'm currently stretchmark free and using this moisturizing ritual daily and intend to keep it up!! My mom and sister each had stretch marks by 20 weeks- so I'm hoping this is a sign that I'm going to beat the genetics with the power of lotions and oils!!

I'm nearly halfway now (19 weeks tomorrow!), and it's time for an update...

Last night I watched "What to Expect When You're Expecting". I'm pretty sure that it's one of those films for select audiences- those who recently conceived, are trying to conceive, or just entered parenthood. I suppose it could also classify as a chickflick-  but I digress.... my point is, there are some great examples of how differently pregnancy affects everyone.

Some people glow- and radiate-- going on and on about all the wonders and joys of carrying a life in their womb. They don't get sick, tired, fat- they just go on with life as normal and one day a baby pops out. Like magic.
Then there are others who experience every uncomfortable aspect you can imagine and it's really not a pleasant experience, but worth every second of discomfort the second they hold their baby....

I'm somewhere in the middle. I was sick for a LONG time... tired, nauseous, uncomfortable, bloated, dizzy...etc etc etc... but now I see a light at the end of the tunnel and things are turning around. This is a good thing. I also have noticed that as time goes on, I get more excited and remember less and less of how awful I felt for the first 16 weeks or so... This is also a good thing.

We had our 12 week scan:

I was 13 weeks exactly on the day of the scan.  In the pic above there's a nub, protruding from the body- there's a whole theory based on these nubs and predicting gender. Apparently at 13 weeks they are very reliable. The theory is that if the baby is laying with the head on the left side and the spine is flat, not curved, the "angle of the dangle" will either be parallel to the spine (girl) or raised at a 30 degree angle (boy). Based on this theory we predicted we were having a girl. We recently had a private gender scan at 17 weeks and it was confirmed that we are in fact having a girl. YAY!

Either it was pure coincidence, or there was a little something to the timing of everything. We inseminated 4 days prior to ovulation to increase our chances of having a girl- the theory being that the girl sperm are stronger, but slower- so the boy sperm arrive at their destination, but there isn't an egg so they eventually die... whereas the girls arrive later, but just as the egg is released and one of them wins the race.

 I'm still trying to fully process the fact that we are actually pregnant.... wow.

quite the exciting adventure lies ahead and we couldn't be happier.... 

morning sick, aka: all day sickness

blah

bleh

blah

blah

ugh

blah

that's how I feel.

buying a motion sickness/morning sickness bracelet/band to see if it helps...

7 weeks

Today, I am 7 weeks pregnant. I weigh 116.2lbs. My morning sickness lasts from 7am until around 4 pm, daily. Some days its an all day affair. Most foods don't sound even remotely appealing. Cereal is the only food I seem to like....
Otherwise, I'm quite happy.

I started out at 119 lbs, size US4/UK 8, and a barely B cup. I'm currently treading maximum capacity of my D cup bra. I've seemingly lost weight and gained breast- how lovely! I'm sure this won't last though.... :)

only lesbians would be surprised...

we couldn't possibly keep it to ourselves so naturally we told the donor and our friend who assisted, then we went to a friends house for dinner tonight and shared our news with them as well.

The highlight of the evening came when our friend, in response to our disbelief at being pregnant, proclaimed "Only a lesbian would inseminate their partner with sperm during her peak fertility and ovulation and then be suprised to find she is pregnant!"
well, yes, actually! when you start researching this whole process it makes you wonder how heterosexuals have ever gotten pregnant. it makes the whole process sound nearly impossible! To think of all the things that can get in the way and prevent you from conceiving....

and the results are in!

WTF!!! OMG!!! We're pregnant! Seriously. OUR FIRST TRY!!! this is insane....!!!

We took the test this morning and could barely believe it. It's only 9 days past ovulation, so it's very early. We were perfectly prepared for the results to be faint and barely able to be interpreted as positive, but instead it was the exact opposite. The plus sign came us as clear as could be almost instantly. Naturally, we began googling false positives to see if there was any chance it was wrong. We were debating whether it was worth taking another test today since you are supposed to use your first morning pee, but we did it anyways and that one was a first response and it was also VERY CLEARLY two lines for PREGNANT!  there is no doubt in our test results and we are both completely over the moon.

The wait to take the test was insanely long - and now imagining a 12 week wait before we can tell anyone is just crazy.

Supplies Needed

Prenatal vitamins, or at least folic acid
OPK test sticks
Clearblue Fertility monitor
Zestica fertility lubricant
Instead softcups
oral medicine syringe 10 ml
Clearblue easy pregnancy tests
First Response pregnancy tests



The first thing we used were Ovulation Prediction pee sticks, (OPK). We used the Clearblue Easy ones and they worked okay. If you're cycle is really regular then you can easily determine your ovulation day. My cycle wasn't that regular so we invested in the ClearBlue Easy Fertility Monitor which I actually preferred using, though it'll cost you around $80. It's easy to use and very reliable. If I had stuck to just charting my cervical mucus and using the OPK sticks, I would have misjudged my O day by a week, so I'm really glad I got the monitor.
Zestica is a really great fertility friendly lubricant. It claims to create a sperm friendly environment which allows them to swim better and live longer, which drastically increases your odds of conceiving. The instead soft cups serve two purposes: First as a receptacle for your known donor to make his deposit, secondly to keep those swimmers in place after you have inseminated. It works a bit like a cervical cap- and while your free to do headstands if you wish, I found it more comfortable to just squat so my cervix was dipping into the instead cup pool!
Now the last two things on the list- pregnancy tests. Why do you need two? Simple, to double check yourself. Either way, I want to be able to have a second opinion via a different brand of test. We bought tests that had two to a pack, just incase we wanted to test 4 times. :) 

Third time, and it's PEAK fertility!!

Today my monitor showed peak fertility at 8 in the morning. The last two times we've inseminated it's been in the evenings around 8pm. Since it's Saturday we decided we would do it earlier today and inseminated at 4pm. We had made plans awhile ago to have a weekend in London with friends this weekend, so we didn't let that get in our way. We just had Mark come to our hotel room and leave his sample there.  He texted us as he was leaving and then we went into our room and created the magic. I only left the instead cup in for a few hours this time. For some reason it wasn't as comfortable this time so I didn't want to sleep with it in. The weather isn't supposed to be great tomorrow (MORE SNOW!) so most likely we won't do it again tomorrow. Ideally, I suppose we should since tomorrow should also be PEAK... but the weather is the weather and we'll have to see how it goes.

Round two!

Today I also have High fertility so we're going again tonight!

I did have lots of liquid leftover the other day when I removed the instead cup. I'm glad that I know that is normal. Don't be surprised if this happens to you. Apparently sperm is only 5% of the semen and the warmer it gets the more it liquifies so all is well!

It worked well the first time, so we aren't changing anything this time.... fingers crossed!

Success!

Everything went as planned. I'm going to sleep with the instead cup in just to maximize chances and because it's safe. There is going to be leftover liquid, but that's normal so I'm not going to freak out and think it has failed in the morning. It was all a bit amusing as we went through the process. We were giggling with excitement in one room and a man was masturbating in the next room- and we all knew what was happening. Talk about pressure.
When we were given the sample there was this initial freaking out where we didn't know where to set it and were paranoid that we'd knock it over or tip over our golden chalice of priceless sperm. Or that we'd forget what we were supposed to do and when. Thankfully we got it together and averted any disasters. All in all it was super easy but we're treating it as a practice run just in case. We probably could have waited a bit longer for the sperm to liquefy but we were anxious, next time we'll wait a full ten minutes.  Fingers crossed!!

the big night

I checked my fertility monitor yesterday and it was the first day of HIGH fertility, knowing that we would have about 3-5 days of high fertility. We decided to hold off until today just to give our donor, friend, and ourselves enough time to prepare for the big event.
The plan is they will come over, we'll have dinner, then he will go off to our guest room and create a sample. When he's done, he'll call our friend to bring the sample from his room to our room and then they will both leave. We will allow the sperm about ten minutes to liquefy. While we are waiting we will use the applicator to put the Zestica lubricant in. We will syringe up as much of the sperm as we can and insert it, then we will insert the softcup to keep it all in place. This is the plan at least.... :)

How we found our known donor

 Gay-ography.

That's how I'd describe it.  You put the request out into the universe via your gay friends and allies and you hope for the best. We told a friend that we were looking and she told a friend and then the magic happened. Other options of course are the internet, sperm banks etc.

We met our donor through a close friend in September with the intention of beginning this process in early february. We met at least once a month and had our very own "Come Dine With Me" dinner parties and developed a great friendship and had lots of open conversations, as one might imagine. This is what worked the best for us based on what we wanted out of our donor relationship.

Why we wanted a known donor

For starters, we live in the UK. Since 2005, every child conceived through a clinic has the right to find out the identity of their biological parent when they turn 18. We've reads a gazillion articles online, watched various documentaries (and a few hollywood movies) and all of those only reconfirmed that we wanted our child to know it's biological donor/parent from the beginning. We will absolutely be the parents, but we don't want to have to wait until age 18 for them to meet. We don't want him to be a mystery, or built up into something he isn't. We want him to be known by our child from the beginning as the donor who made everything possible. That's what WE want. Everyone is different and the most important thing is that you do what is best for you in your family.

We are fortunate in the UK that same sex civil partners who have a child are both listed as the parents on the birth certificate. While this is amazing, since we're doing a home insemination, we wanted extra protection for ourselves and our donor so we searched online and found a donor/recipient contract to make sure we all had clearly established expectations and intentions. I'll attach a copy of it in my next post in case anyone can benefit from it.

Home insemination! Why we chose it...

It's simple really- it's much cheaper to do home insemination that it is to go to a clinic. But it's not the only reason we chose it. 

My partner is a British National, I'm American. If anyone knows how fortunate I am to live in England, it's me. Not only is our relationship recognized, but in Hertfordshire county we're entitled to up to three free IVF treatments courtesy of the NHS. If it's free, why arent' we doing it? Well, we've done a lot of research, which is really hard to come by, and decided we prefer trying to conceive with fresh sperm instead of frozen sperm. We attended several seminars and talked to various women's clinics and all of the statistics they had were for couples with fertility issues who are trying to conceive. No one seems to have accurate statistics for women who don't have any fertility issues who are conceiving with donor sperm. Fresh sperm results in live birth nearly 40% of the time, whereas frozen sperm resulted in live birth 18% of the time- for couples with fertility issues. So we decided that since I don't have any fertility concerns, fresh sperm would probably be even better and have a higher percentage of success than frozen sperm. 

Aside from that, I prefer the idea of conceiving at home with my partner, instead of in a clinic with strangers. There are obvious precautions to take with a home insemination and known donors, like testing for STI's. There is a test available called the NAT, Nucleic Acid Test, that can give rapid results for HIV1, HIV2, Hep, etc. This test is hard to come by from your general practioner, but can be done through a private clinic for around £300. The main reason they freeze the sperm is to quarantine it and double check for STI's. If you get the NAT test, you don't need to quarantine the sperm. If you decide home insemination isn't for you, but you still want fresh sperm, this is something to consider. 

In a nutshell, that's why we chose to do it at home...